Wednesday, January 26, 2011

10 days, 30, never?

Today I got a letter from the district psychiatric center. At first I thought, wow they actually do exist. So it basically said that they had gotten the referral from GP. Then it just went on to a bunch of formal talk, rules and guidelines etc. But some of it really bothered me.

In the second paragraph it sais “you have the right to priority treatment for mental health, and you must receive news of such treatment before march 7.2011. You will be notified of when such treatment will start in a separate letter.” – So, pretty straight forward. But then later on in the letter it has a similar description with a few changes. “According to patient rights, your referral shall be evaluated within 30 days, however if the patient is under the age of 23 and there are symptoms of mental health or addiction they have the right to get an evaluation within 10 days.”

“The special health service will base the need for an evaluation based on the referral sent in by your GP” – So basically they are gonna decide whether or not I need and evaluation appointment based on quick notes my GP sent them. “You will be contacted in a separate letter which rights you have out of the following options listed”:

Option 1:
You have the right to priority help in the special health service and will receive a proper evaluation before beginning such treatment. Treatment will begin within 65 days.

Option 2:
You do not have any right when it comes to treatment in the special health service but will still receive it. However there is no time limit of when such treatment has to begin.

Option 3:
After reviewing your referral it has been decided that you are not in need of medical care. This meaning that we have looked over your case and it should be fixed between you and your GP.

So in conclusion, without even talking to me they are going to decide if I get an evaluation. If I get one or not, they have 30 days to answer me. If I’m eligible for treatment it can take 65 days before I receive it. So basically, I’m screwed.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Look what I made!

bookcase, originally uploaded by revoltra.
Bought a new set of bookcase and put it together all by myself. I did not come in a box looking like this. I have a soar thumb, back pains and cramping hands. But this is the most rewarding thing I've done all week. Now I just gotta finish decorating it.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Asking for help and home schooling

I want to apologize in advanced for lack of writing skills. I am extremely tired lately and decent writing is a challenge. I was going to write a detailed update, but things just keep adding on so I’ll just sum it up instead.

After my little breakdown over Christmas I spent a few weeks in bed before I finally got the guts to see my doctor. Just getting the appointment was a challenge, and when I finally got there ready to open up and ask for help there was a med student in there with my GP. He was there to observe or whatever.
  • I did open up to my doctor, told him I never heard back from the outpatient clinic after a year on the waiting list.
  • After over a year without treatment my condition had worsen, and he know thinks I also have anxiety disorder.
  • After the talk he decided to get me an emergency appointment and evaluation for the following day, he called me later and informed it wasn’t happening after all. I am now back on the waiting list.
  • Since I’ve waited over a year for help I most likely might have gotten lost in someone’s paperwork so I was re added to the waiting list. It will take a few weeks since I am now back at the bottom of the list.
  • As far as school goes, I’ll be continuing all my classes on my own. Worked out a deal with them and because of my situation I’ll be doing all my work at home until I show up for finals in May. 

As for everything else, I’m going to try and take it all day by day. As for depressive/suicidal thoughts, I will just have to try my best to ignore them until someone decides that I need or deserve help. Until then, I’ll be here waiting, like I have been for the past year and a half.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Call your doctor

So allot has happened over christmas for me and I haven't gotten around to posting about it here. To be honest I had all the time in the world, but i hit a low point where i just layed in bed all day and slept up to 16 hours a day. So beforeI update on my current situation I thought I'd go back a little bit. Here's something I wrote after new years but never published on my blog.


I really don't know how to start here and i don't wanna write to much, but theres just allo i'm unsure about. Like when do you seek help for depression? And how do you do it?

to sum up my story, a little over a year ago i was 18 in school and struggling really bad. I always started every school year doing good academic wise no matter how bad i was feeling but then within weeks i would get so depressed that i'd get through the year just barely. However around november 09 it had gotten so bad that i couldn't even leave my bed for weeks (told the school i had swine flu). I was failing half my classes, so the guidence counclir took me in for a meating which then led to her making appointments with the school therapist etc. The therapist was on seek leave due to swine flu so within a week i was back in bed. parents go involved, lots of yeling and screaming and i od'd a few days later.

After that i had to drop out of school, saw my doctor because of the whole situation and after christmas he set me up with the psychatric outpatient clinic for kids, when i got there they sent me back home because i was 18 (they treath kids under 18). About a month later he had my files sent over to the outpatien clinic for adults. He told me theres a waiting period and offered some antidepressants. At the time i was in shock and a little overwhelmed so i didn't say anything, he sent me into the lag for some blood work, i cried infront of the nurse and went back home. This was around feb/march.

So the thing is, after that i've had no follow ups with my doctor or the clinic. I got a job, went back to school in the fall and lasted a little longer this time. But now i'm right back where i was. I barely made it through my classes before christmas. And over christmas break i had a big breakdown, stayed in bed for 3 days without eating, didn't get any school work done. So when school started this week i was so scared and panicked that i just stayed in bed, which then led to 2 days, 3 days. I know i've screwed my school again. But i can't seem to leave the house. I'm constantly scared or panicked which is getting really overwhelming. When the phone rings, or i hear someone comming, when i check my e-mail, when someone tries to talk to me etc. Simple things make me loose my breathe.

I've spent over a year waiting for a follow up, and i keep wanting to go see a doctor but i always chicken out because i'm constantly scared of everything. My parents keep asking me if i'm showing up for my classes and i'm running out of time before someone will contact them. I don't even know if i have a reason to see a doctor, or what to tell them when i call in. I called a crisis line but the woman who answered was a little cranky and noe help.

I'm sorry, wasn't suposed to write i whole damn essay here just had allot to sum up. so i guess my question is, how i tell my parents about school and if and how i call a doctor, i keep wanting but chicken out everytime as i don't know what to tell them.

I'm on flickr

Albums, originally uploaded by revoltra.
Registered for flickr today, just cause.....